Sunday, April 28, 2013

Am I a good driver?

Sometimes I'm in the right frame of mind and I'm like.. *zoom zoom* (not in the Mazda though that was stick; that was all.. "Shit I stalled again") and I can weave in and out on the highway at like.. 130ish an hour and be feeling awesome and in the Zone...

Other times its more "oh shit!"...

*wipes other car clean and drives off*(I was 17. They were practically blocking me in. It was wrong)


.. Or. "I don't know what to do- Im hooked on the front bumper.
I CAN'T DRIVE OFF". (22.. I just don't drive now. And I park really far away from other cars. But also I have a tiny car now, I used to drive a boat, and my golden baby. I miss my truck 😭.. And at 27 I hope I would stay. )

I went to the cops that time:/. He was like "oh it's good you came here, most people drive off" I was like "it seems I don't know how to"

I don't like to get dirty, unless I'm going to get *really* dirty.
If I was really getting into my painting, I would paint my face too , because I had to have the feel of it all over.

Sadly, ain't nobody got time for that

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Make it what you want

If you feel energy- do you try to decide what it is?
Like for example... Do you feel like.. "Fear prickling your spine"?

Or do you feel a sense of energy and use it towards your goals?

Basic example but if I were to say, go to the kitchen to get a drink and I felt a fear of what would happen..but instead of internalize that fear and letting it stifle me, i use it as just neutral energy that I decide to use towards positive energy - and use it to propel past my fear?
Such as.. Fear of the darkness, and walking into it..
Or fear of stranger and preparing to defend..
Acknowledging the initial wave but converting it to your needs.

I right now feel like courage and ascension are the same thing- Both to an extreme degree, just that they are on the same field.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Ghosts.

Lets say you had a ghost in your house, that changed appearances just slightly.
For example, a neat towel, would be hung angrily (and when I say angrily. I mean like, its just an angry looking hang. NOT that it was hung in anger.
Carelessness if anything.
But I digress; if things were changing so slightly, how could you be sure of your actions?

Ghosts man.
They can really fuck you up.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Sad fly


There is a fly in my house trying to crawl up my glass door. He gets so far, then starts.. Well, it looks like he is getting electrocuted.
Or perhaps like he is pushing against an electric force field and instead of falling he flew maniacally before dropping , often all the way to the bottom. 😢
He keeps trying, like he's an athlete training he has to make it to the top, but he's clearly weary and being smacked against the door repeatedly at these outbursts of energy.
The highest he has gotten is halfway up..
But when I was watching him he wasnt even getting 1/4 of the way. I stopped watching, I wondered if I was giving off a pulse because he kept falling so low, with consistency in location.

Ok he's half way right now!

3/4 of the way. I feel myself dropping with him each time he drops.. Struggling to push upwards as he does.

There is a larger fly at the top. I opened the door *my* fly is trying so hard to ascend, so he could have access at the top.
I wonder if they reach each other, and mate - if I changed the path of life? Perhaps these flies carry a virus, or learn to control the human mind?
I wonder if the human species would advance with flies at the human control center.. Crawling in when you are sleeping..

Is their spawn in my control?
If I trap them between the doors until they starve.. If I squish one, or both. If I let them mate and offer them home? Should I make a choice in controlling the outcome?


Here I thought the question was which door? But today its which door set, in which sequence?

(As an aside- I completely forgot about the flies after writing this.
If a fly virus kills us all.. Sorry. )

Monday, April 22, 2013

Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos
It's alive!!!
Seriously is that normal for dead vines to rejuvenate? I would have thought they would just become compost for the berries??


I'm having images of zombie strawberries not unlike the zombie carrots in monsters vs aliens.. Was I supposed to prune these back, and will my strawberries change at all because I didn't? Will they still be normal, edible strawberries?


I often visualize hybrid-produce.
Strawberries I mix with the marijuana plant and green onion - the stems obviously the onion, the leafy crown would be pot.

Would that not make the most awesomely potted edible life you could eat?

I worry the tastes would overlap though...
Green onion- strawberry doesn't appeal.
It should be ok if the flavor only mixed near where it converges.. You can pop off the green onion stem and cut out the pot flowering... Because strawberry flavored pot sounds like a tasty smoke.




Edit:: it totally died.

It's a changing world

If a gene mutates due to environment,
If the environment reverts back to what it was (originally for that gene)
Can the mutation reverse too?

Is it even possible or desirable for an environment to revert? Even with despairing results, long term could be more beneficial...

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Red or blue

I don't know much about the reptilian conspiracy theory; just the belief the reptilians live inside government suits?. but I can't help but wonder - wouldnt they spread out? Wouldn't Their goal be population, once they were in the position to take control?
I just sometimes imagine reptiles in a large portion of our population..
I wonder if maybe religion was designed by hosts.. I would guess reptilian hosts would be considered demonic.




Memory trust

How strongly do you trust your memory?
Would you be able to bet someone else's life on your memory?

Countdown to 4:20

The morning Is lazy, and I think what the heck? This weather is gloomy, and I don't feel the power. But now as I see it, I feel its too soon.
I'm ready and raring - but the party can't start.
I feel a step closer, like tomorrow's the day, and I think of reptilians, invading presidential hosts, And paristitic aliens are the fear they are based on, but relly, 67% of South Americans have the parasite.. As I truly do wonder if that's what a soul. Is, that's what gives is our charge.
Our minds are but complex computers, they just need a source.
But can our minds choose our source?
Can we decide upon a parasite controlling us for mutual benefits?
Can we choose instead for a vitamin to propel us? Perhaps a quality of a quartz crystal (said to be the life force of Atlantians) is what provides life for some humans, and parasites - others.
Perhaps we have more controls?
Some exterior - controlling you (I'd like to edit this to add a photo from superman where an alien sticks a tentacle into the mouths I think of the people in smallville, and they all live under the aliens control?
Is our sun the only energy source? Are we all at the bidding of a sun- just believing its not intentionally controlling us?

Are we literally zombies at night? Is the moon it's own source of giving us life?


Why don't animals create technology on their own?
Occasionally monkies have... To a minor extent, but its not as predominant as with humans.. It's pretty much not dominant at all.
Does it have anything to do with them having ingrown weapons and shields?

I lose track of my point - but my point not forgotten- 4:20 approaches, ascension ablaze.
I sometimes forget that I'm early- and I believe that you are late.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Energy

Can you tell if something big is going down, even if you are not involved, and have no idea why you feel the way you do?

Is this what many people consider anxiety?

What if you think positive big things are going on.. Like you just feel waves of energy; maybe sometimes they are bad but at least as often, they are good?
Is that when people would start labeling "bi polar" or "manic depressive"?
Or Is that still anxiety? Or is anxiety limited to negative?

Personally I choose to believe I'm feeling the earths energies, but I'm curious what others think.

I'm feeling some energy right now, I just feel like something is shifting, and its powerful.
I feel like something bad could happen right now; I'm visually it's government based because I like to play corporal in my alter-ego. Split personality.


I can't tell if its related to weather, or people.


Editing to say it must have been weather because like 15 minutes later we had a few HUGE breezes, the wind is still quite powerful but no threats remain.
Maybe there never was a threat, it wasn't a scary feeling earlier..

But oh my, it was strong.

Master Monsanto

Which is worse - the food or the policy?

Can you separate the issues?



If I am re growing a vegetable stalk like Pinterest has shown me to do, that was produced with Monsanto patented genetic modifications am I -as a Canadian, or would I be if I was American - breaking the law?

Will Monsanto be the cause of world war three? How can a person or company force other countries to pay for their genetic mutations infiltrating others crops? Will he try?


Michele, this is for you
Sometimes I want to suggest art to you.
Like right now I'm picturing a stage with Obama as a what's it called.. Not marsupial - marrionate. Marrionate. I'm spelling it wrong.
Anyways with Monsanto controlling the strings. Obama is blue and very sad, and Monsanto is red, and gleefull looking.
And the stage is dark and gloomy.
That's just what I picture. I wish I could send you the image to draw.. And offer you money for your services.

Definition of whore right?
Monsanto will turn us all into prostitutes.



Thursday, April 18, 2013

I don't believe hypochondria exists.
I think if you think something is off, something probably is - but I think the body is always trying to heal itself so I think most often the ailment heals, or is pushed down and grows later again.

... Is it obvious I'm a little high?..

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Do you touch dead people? (Trigger)

Do you touch dead people?

I often see people at funerals touching the bereaved and I think how comforting that must feel; a kiss, or a clasp of the hand, or gentle stroke.. a beautiful way to say a final goodbye.
I find myself wanting to touch, wondering how it feels. working myself up to it "look! Another person touched! I can do it. Just hold it for 3 seconds, then you can wash your hands after."

In the same breath I'm thinking "How can you touch that!? I don't want to touch dead things!"
I imagine it must be cold, and I wonder how ill feel after? That's a big thing for me; knowing how ill feel after.
Sometimes I have this thing where I need my sides to balance my sides. It made gym class fun, when I hurt myself an felt compelled to hurt the other side... (Realizing that probably not normal.. Or maybe it is?)
It's really bad when its triggered by my NOT being ok with how the body feels. Now I am compelled to compulsively touch it with my other side too, despite fighting back a heebie jeebie dance.



Saturday, April 13, 2013

Poo particles

Can you believe there are poo particles on everything??
So gross, right?
But makes me think, if these particles are abailAble on everything, what the fuck else is????

Why the fuck are we so worried About poo particles - thA have already been digested from our Bodies??


I don't have government conspiracy alert warnings
Fucking society conspiracy warnings!!!

Others or you; who's judgement matters?

So I was hanging with my friends (yah I have a few) and one of them wanted it borrow a marker to right "green" and "day" on her hands.
She, and myself and another, held our hands out imaging ourselves revealing our decal'ed hands,
Discussing who would be writing the letters, herself, or her boyfriend.
So I ask her the obvious question I see: do you plan on writing this for other people or for yourself?
Obviously the direction will matter.
She says others, so we agree the writing should be facing out.
Will, I have it question- do you hold your hands tips up to show others. Palms in your face, (or lower) with exuberation!
Or do you hold your hands down, expecting others to avert their eyes.

Is that why? I ponder the reasoning why some splay their fingers upwards, and others down.

I wonder if it has to do with others precepts; like, of they look up to others they splay them in front of their face.or if they look down to others they splay them down.
Yes.
I love the word splay

Homosexual

I'm very supportive of all sexualities.
But, I'd like to discuss the idea of choice.
Is homosexuality something you were born with? And on the other side- is heterosexuality something you were born with?
Or, does your sexuality lie upon a thin line of Kinsey scale?
Can you be "Homosexual" and revert or convert to heterosexual?
Or are you born just one, and that is how you live your life out?
Do the majority of people fall somewhere within a scale where they find themselves attracted to both sexes, maybe 99/1.. Or 1/99.

Full moons

I bet parasites have better access to infiltrating the human genome on a full moon what with its brightness in the dark for easy visuals.

Just think about that next full moon everyone's acting a little "off"

Parasites (take 2). Just to show a more raw perspective. Unedited as the first.. Mostly because its so dirty I don't know where to start cleaning up lol)

Ok so from what I gather; our skin is home to "skin flora" or bacteria, virii, we are just a Huge embodiment of life thriving while other tinier life forms thrive on us.
Well! I welcome those other life forms. Often enough, we are "mutually beneificial" like spiders eating other bugs. Fucking killing spiders- they are a homes army.
So I enjoy germs.
I shower cosistently, I just don't soap from head to toe.
I appreciate the mutations they do to cells in my body, allowing to me acquire qualities the parasites find beneficial...
It's like, we have multiple realities to our single universe, and while most people tend them off with soap or antibacterials, other, like me, are welcoming and saying hey. What's up. i feel strongly about this but let's see how we'll we can work together.
I have no problem saying "you are the weakest link. Goodbye"
But it far from my favorite expression.
Seriously.

I had an abortion

And fuck you if you judge me.
I've got fertility to share. So I did. I shared it by aborting the fetus that was growing inside me that I felt love for. But knew I had so very little chance at being able to provide for it.
I like to believe that I gave life back to the earth for others, not excluding myself. But mostly as a bunch of tiny happy little fertile molecules recycled back into the earth.
I wished it well on its journey and hoped that the bulk of it would adapt quickly in a new environment .. While creating a happy trail of life behind it.
I'm sorry The situation was not right, but something better is awaiting it. Whether that be me in the future or someone else, i just know that me- right now- is not the final surprise.

Joy. (Trigger.)

What is joy?
I take great joy in offering perspectives.
I don't even care if its opposing to my perspective, I believe and understand there are thousands or millions of different perspectives out there and each of them just as " right" as the other. I can find joy where others find disappointment, despite your lack of happiness for sad news, I believe without a doubt that somewhere, sometime. Happiness is occurring to balance all despair.
Neither are wrong, both Happen. Relish both.

But relish is kinda gross. I prefer pickles


I'm drunk

I'm starting my blog while I am drunk.

Why
Because that's when I am most courageous.
I constantly second guess myself thinking of every single perspective that could possibly be offended by MY perspective.
There are lots of you, and to you I say :: deal with it.
I'm not "normal" but I'm happy with who I am.
I find myself to be enjoyable company. No other required!
But simultaneously, I LOVe company.
Come over. Entertain me. Make my day.
I am odd and think of unusual things, but I Always have joy to give you,
If I have no joy, please offer me some- because I can take a smidgen and turn it into a Dallop. Ad a Dallop into an ounce.

(Sober edit - I don't really have much joy to give actually that's a lie. I'm not bubbly.. But, I do have a lot of good shit to offer... Like peace in hard times.. Understanding.. Compassion.. I just thought I was being poetic in the last two sentences. :))

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Pilot



what is it about Humans that make us, us?
Or bodies thriving with millions of bacteria?
Our mind, being controlled by a parasitic creature?
Our possibly non-existent soul?
What inside us tells us to remove the parasites, wash away the bacteria, kill the virus (of which only 99% are harmful)
I wonder if our existence without any other life teeming amongst our organs be as fulfilling as it is now.

Are the life forms encroaching upon our bodies what are evolving, giving us technology they can only think - but direct our bodies to build?
Our bodies have hardly changed a lick since we've stood straight up.
Seems like someone's finding year bodies useful.
Do you know who's maneuvering your body?

What if parasites are aliens?
What if people go crazy on the full moon, because its some kind of prime time for them to infect their hosts?


What if their apparent lack of function is just the parasite biding its time until it plans to take over our minds, and all other minds- zombifying us, and utilizing our bodies?
What if some bodies have already been taken over by these parasites.. Perhaps the intelligence of our species is actually in the parasites, and while they keep themselves from being tested, they are already taking over?
..

Exciting links!

http://www.americanscientist.org/bookshelf/pub/the-dark-side-of-dna

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/humans-controlled-tiny-parasites-180652943.html

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2008/10/05/toxoplasma-the-brain-parasite-that-influences-human-culture/

http://www.cracked.com/article_17199_the-7-most-horrifying-parasites-planet.html