Heaven : pearly cage

Do you believe someone is gone in death, or altered?

I say altered. They become everything around you. To me, reassurance after death is something along the lines of .. I can feel the deceased all around me, still alive through the trees and the wind.

To hear other say they are waiting somewhere for me upsets me because I don't want to feel obliged to be in one place to see loved ones.

It worries me that god loving people are really signing their souls away to a cage.. Like they actually may be gone... But the rest of the universe lives and thrives recycling its energy while you remain trapped... Or perhaps it wouldn't matter because you are happy there and your happiness is your most important thing. Only you can control it, and you. 

So happiness to those signing themselves to live in a.. "Equal billing" life stages.

Your captor, god, will protect you from the outer life forms outside his cage... Regardless of who they Are.. And own you in the process, forced to live for eternity choosing to live in gods pearly cage. 

Dream journal

I just stumbled across my old dream journals from 2004 and around there.

I don't remember writing most of them! One or two I vividly remember. I apparently also had a conversation with my neice in writing ; part of me thinks yah!.. That happened! Another part is like.. What the fuck?!

I wonder if maybe I wrote both sides pretending to be her..

What if she didn't remember it?

Would that indicate my lacking sanity?

Or simply that we both don't remember?

I wonder how much of my memory is accurate.. If I maybe misgauged or didn't quite process  the details at the time of recording.... My memory may be skewed as well.

Even if without the recording of my memory, the recollection would bring to light the misunderstandings.

Or maybe you wouldn't recall at all.

Can you maneuver that fine line.. Knowing when to both hold on to your memories, and knowing when to let them go?

Can you walk that tight rope?

Life is a roller coaster

I don't think I could possibly say fuck enough times and with enough different meanings to adequately convey how I'm feeling. Fuck.

If life is a roller coaster.. Have I mentioned I'm scared of heights?

What if vaccines...

Were really triggers to work together with virus, not be immune.

What if the people behind it are the reptilian species hiding in our meat suits pushing all people to join their races??

To allow their species (via virus) to take over body or mind control?

... Would it be so bad if we could work together in one body?

Super shiver

I was listening to my husbands playlist and as the song pulls me in with its touching chorus "I want to be left alone" as my rythym intensifys and the song begins to sway me as I cut long stems of green onion... Just as I've declared my desire to be all alone - I cut into a stalk containing a writhing and halved earwig.

Horrified I stepped away, letting it be alone - but had to end its misery and chopped it again and its pieces went flying and I shuddered and brushed myself off, smacked myself off trying to remove any potential debris.

The body discovered I still can't stop squirming myself, imagining the bug in my onion.

I'm not sure if I want to use the onion...

I'm leaning towards yes.

Thoughts?

..

Thought?😟

... This seems an appropriate time to also share that some species of earwigs actually have wings. This thought also horrifies me.

I think I shall not sleep tonight...

Perfect human

Is there such thing as a perfect human?

.. A "correct" ratio one should fall into between height and maybe hips.. Or shoulders... Width somewhere, and height.. Some mathematical equation that could give you a perfect physical being?

What about a perfect brain?

A mind that connects to the very soul of the earth... Thinking the most purest thoughts... Would that be perfect?

If there is no perfect, no correct way of being...

How can there be an incorrect way to life? How can laws dictate what's wrong - when there is no right?

So what's right?

Cicadas

Cicadas so loud I can barely think. The world is safe..... For now👽😎

Why would I ???

Want to be limited to heaven when the entire universe is at my fingertips?

Truths to live by

Always breathe through your nose when able.

Dressing up.

Do you feel compelled to dress a certain level?

Growing up anytime I wore a dress or anything pretty I was often questioned throughout the day "why did you dress up? What did you get all dressed up for today?"

In hindsight I can wonder if that's people's ways of showing appreciation? Or complimenting? It always made me feel accused.

Anyone want to offer some insight?

What if you were comfortable in outrageous clothing; like formal wear?

Perspective, hallucinations.

Lately I've been thinking that hallucinations are seeing into other worlds.

I can see a man eating dinner with his wife when suddenly the diner is exchanged with a giant octopus party and the man, so small beside the massive 8 legged boisterously drinking ... Octopus...looks to his right and sees a giant squid lunging for its face.(I was trying to think of another word above, it just came to me. Squid/octopus?

Close enough.

See in my world / if someone is hallucinating they need help to be called out if the door. Maybe some people are happier in other dimensions, where leprechauns run freely perhaps:).. But instead of telling people they don't exist I think / ok they do exist -- just back away, and close the door. Or even just turn away.

Not denied the reality.

Techno music

Techno mucic is really freaking me out right now. 

It's like... Does it end ! ?

Is there an ending to this song?

I'm really freaking out right now because this song just continues to loop and twist in and out up and down. A rythym you can't break away of no way to end. And then the new song starts and unless you can confirm this you don't KNOW!! You can question and you ponder but until you are recaptured in the inevitable loop you don't KNOW that yes is for sure a new song.

Does anybody else feel that way? 

Senses

It's interesting to live in a world where there is noise pollution in several locations, lights in every direction..

Scents from all around....

And to compare it to a world where its just you and your output.